A Journey

Weight Loss is Not a Magic Bullet

I read an article recently on CNN.com about a young woman who hated her nose so much that she asked her parents to let her have a nose job when she was 14 years old.  They allowed her to have the surgery a few years later after she graduated from high school to reduce the bump on her nose and pare down the tip.  She was expecting the surgery to transform her life and help her fit in.  She said “My fantasy was that I’d have this surgery and I would turn into the person that would easily be able to connect with others and have this social ease”.    However, after the surgery she still felt painfully shy.

While I’m certainly not considering any type of plastic surgery, this article struck a chord with me.  So many people, myself included, have fantasized about how their life will change once they lose weight.  They will be happier, have more friends, have a better love life, travel more, get a better job, have more money.  But what most people find out when they lose the weight just by dieting without changing any of the inner conflicts, is that their life doesn’t change.  Losing weight does not change what’s inside of you.  If you are not happy with yourself now, you will not be happy with yourself once you get to that “magic” number on the scale.

Losing weight is not the magic bullet to make things in your life better.  And until you can change your feelings about yourself, weight loss can never be permanent.

Look Inside for Permanent Weight Loss

What often happens when someone decides to lose weight is one of two things – they either look for a quick fix solution or ignore the problem and blame it on something external.  I’ve done both.  I’ve tried many of the quick fixes out there – they never work for the long term.  It’s easy to lose a quick 5 or 10 pounds.  The problem is, when you lose it quickly, it usually comes back on even quicker, and often more than you took off.  I’ve also blamed my weight issues on the fact that everyone in my family has a weight problem – it must be genetic.

The practical side of wanting to lose weight is what is usually talked about and what we see in all the diet books and all of the online advertising – looking good, being healthy, having lots of energy.  Those things are important.  But there’s another side to losing weight.  That’s the part that usually isn’t addressed in the advertising we see everyday.  One of the most important ingredients to successful weight loss is how we feel about ourselves.  Dr. Michelle May, who wrote one of my favorite books, “Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat”, posted a quote on Facebook today – “The answers to weight management are within your reach but you’ve been reaching out instead of reaching in.”  You can check out Michelle’s website at www.AmIHungry.com.

For most of my life I have dealt with self-esteem issues, mostly stemming from the fact that I was overweight throughout my childhood, some of my teenage years and on and off through my adult years.  The first diet that I remember was Weight Watchers when I was 14 years old.  The messages that I’ve been receiving since I was a child were that being fat wasn’t good.  Which translated to me into “I wasn’t good”.  This also translates into the foods we eat everyday and how we look at those foods.  On most diets, there are lists of good foods and bad foods.  If you eat your “good” foods, then you’ve been good.  But what happens when you eat a BAD food.  You are subconsciously labeling yourself as bad. And even on diets like Weight Watchers, where you can eat anything as long as it fits into your daily and weekly allowances, most foods that are high in points are considered bad.  I’ve sat in so many meetings listening to people beat themselves up about how bad they were during the past week.  Every time we tell ourselves we are bad, what does that do to our self-esteem, especially if it’s already low. It causes us to feel bad about ourselves, which then often makes us eat to feel better, which then causes guilt, which than makes us feel bad about ourselves and so on and so forth – through the vicious cycle of yo-yo dieting we go.

So if we approach weight loss in a way that is loving to ourselves, the logical result is that the weight will come off naturally.  Probably a lot slower than if we were on a “diet”, but that’s ok.  My suggestion to anyone who wants to try looking inside and really loving themselves as a means to lose the extra weight, that they stay away from the scale.  Use your clothing as a guide to how much weight you are losing.  It may take a while but your clothes will get bigger.  Also, use how you feel as a way to know that the pounds are coming off.  Feeling good about yourself is what it’s all about.

Weight Loss vs. Health Gain

How are you affected by the weight loss messages we see everyday?  For most of my life, the one important message was the number on the scale.  That was the be-all and end-all.  Being a Weight Watchers member for so many years, there were always mixed messages – while you were encouraged to share and celebrate non-scale victories, the thing that mattered most was the number on the scale – whether or not it was realistic.

I’ll never forget the story of a fellow member a number of years ago.  One of the few male members of our WW meeting, his ultimate goal was to become a leader, so he could inspire others, especially men.  He was doing really well, but realized that because he worked out as much as he did, that if he attained the goal weight that was set for him by WW, he would be way too thin and very unhealthy.  His doctor agreed with this.  So the WW leader told him that if his doctor wrote a note, then he could reach goal and become a lifetime member, if he reached a weight that his doctor felt was healthy.  Sounds good, right?  The catch was, that the only way he could become a leader was to reach the goal the WW set for him, not one that his doctor felt would be the most healthy for him.  He became disenchanted with WW and quit shortly thereafter.

Being on WW, the scale was everything.  There were people who would only get weighed at one particular scale or by one particular person.  There were others who wore the same clothes week after week (regardless of the weather) because they didn’t want there to be anything that might affect their weight.  There were others who removed every bit of jewelry they were wearing.  And most brought their breakfast and ate it after the weigh-in.  If someone followed the program religiously for the week and only lost a fraction of a pound or didn’t lose any weight, they’d be depressed.  Even though we were encouraged to celebrate non-scale victories, if the scale did not show the results we were expecting, those non-scale victories did not matter to most people sitting in that meeting room.

Another damaging message we see is on television.  I have to admit that I am a big fan of The Biggest Loser.  I think it’s great that we see these people who are extremely obese and unhealthy lose weight and look fabulous by the finale.  But at what cost.  The amount of weight they lose on a weekly basis would be considered very unhealthy – some of these men lose in the double digits each week.  The record for losing 100 pounds on the campus is 7 weeks.  That’s an average of over 14 pounds per week.  A healthy rate of weight loss is 1-2 pounds a week.  I go nuts when someone has a loss of 3 or 4 or 5 pounds in a week and is disappointed.  This is not real life.  And while many of their existing health problems are resolved by the weight loss, I sometimes wonder about the long term effects of such rapid weight loss.  And from what I have heard, many of them have gained some or all of the weight back once they go back to the real world, where their food and exercise isn’t monitored as carefully, they cannot spend 6-8 hours a day exercising and they are back with the stresses of daily life that they had before they spent the time on campus.

It is for reasons like these that I decided to change the way I look at weight loss.  Instead of weight loss I’m looking at is as health gain.  And as part of that health gain, I’ve decided that for my emotional health, I cannot deny myself what my body really wants.  But the only way to do this is to learn to listen to my body to see what it really wants.  When I want to eat something, I now ask myself, “am I hungry?”  And if the answer is yes, then the next question is “am I hungry for food and does my body need nourishment or am I hungry for something else?”  Do I need a hug or to take a walk or to talk to a friend or to take a few minutes to sit by myself and take a few deep breaths.  Sometimes when we are lacking in our primary foods (relationships, spirituality, career, physical activity), we turn to secondary food to fill us up.  But that is not the kind of nourishment that we need at that moment.

So the next time you are looking to reach for something to eat, ask yourself the question, “am I hungry, and if I am, what am I hungry for” and see what the answer is.  See what your body is telling you.  If it’s primary food that’s lacking, then pick up the telephone and call someone you love or take a few minutes by yourself and take a few deep breaths or go for a walk or get lost in a good book.  See how it feels.  The health gain will come naturally.

All or Nothing

Over the course of my life, I usually approached my dieting efforts as either all or nothing.  I was either good or bad, on the diet or off the diet – it was always just black or white.  There were no shades of gray.  The scenario would usually go like this – I’d make the decision to start a diet.  The diet and daily exercise was going to start on Monday – had to get in all of those last minute binges over the weekend so I could eat all of the things that I was not going to be able to have on my diet.  I would get up early on Monday, do my exercise, have a really healthy breakfast, write down everything I ate in my food journal, bring the lunch I had prepared the night before with me to work and only eat what I had brought with me.  I’d come home and have a very healthy dinner and maybe a snack that I worked into my diet to eat while watching TV in the evening.  FANTASTIC!!!  I made it through day 1 perfectly.

Oops, I got to sleep a little too late Monday night, so I decide not to get up early to exercise on Tuesday morning.  It’s ok, I can do it on Wednesday.  Or maybe I’ll go out for a walk at lunch time – at least there will be some activity.  But because I was tired, I hit the snooze button a few too many times.  Not only don’t I have time to exercise, I really don’t have time to make myself a healthy breakfast.  So I grab a granola bar to hold me over until I can get something near work.  About half way to the train, I realized that I forgot to bring my lunch with me.  Uh oh!!  Not a good sign.  So I get to work, decide that since I was so good yesterday, and I didn’t have time for breakfast this morning, I’d pick up something on my way to work.  Mmmmm, those muffins smell really good.  I think I’ll have one for breakfast.  My morning is really busy and by the time lunchtime rolls around, I’m starving (a granola bar and a muffin aren’t exactly the most filling of foods).  So I go to the local sandwich shop and get a panini (I’m way too hungry for a salad).  And because I’m so hungry, I don’t even think about the walk I was going to take.  So I bring my sandwich back to my desk and eat lunch while checking my email and reading the newspaper.  Work through the afternoon and then it’s time to go home.  And through all of this I’m thinking to myself – “I really need to get back on my diet.  I’ll start again tomorrow”.  All the while, I’m beating myself up about falling off the wagon AGAIN!!!  And once the guilt and self-flagellation starts, the vicious cycle begins its motions.

Does any of this sound familiar?  I’ve been through that scenario more times than I can count.  What is it about dieting that makes people think that’s it’s all black and white?  Either on or off?  All or nothing?

Without an all or nothing attitude let’s replay the scenario to see how we could have saved the day and remained happy with ourselves.

First of all, once we made the decision to “diet”, we shouldn’t have waited until Monday.  You can start being mindful at anytime.  Secondly, the self-congratulations on Monday should not be for perfection, but for being mindful and sticking to a plan.  If I was looking to be more moderate and more caring of myself, then when I got up late on Tuesday, I would grab an apple or a banana to eat to hold me over until I got to work, and then plan on picking up egg whites or eggs on a whole grain wrap or bread and bring that to my desk.  When I sat down to eat the eggs, I would eat them slowly and mindfully and really taste the goodness in them.  I know this will satisfy me until lunchtime.  I would make a point of walking when I could (maybe get off the train 1 stop earlier or visit a colleague at work at their desk instead of calling or sending an email or even just take a few 5 minute breaks throughout the day to take a brief walk around the office).  Because I was satisfied after eating my breakfast, I am not starving at lunchtime.  Now I can make a reasonable choice, one that will fit into my healthy food plan.  I can even take a walk before I get my lunch since I didn’t have time to exercise in the morning.  When I get my lunch, I know I need to find a place where I can eat it without distractions – no email, no newspaper, no TV.  I just want to taste my food and savor it.  I know how much more satisfied I’ll be when I’m done.  I then go home to a healthy dinner, which I also eat mindfully and without distractions.  I am so proud of myself for eating healthfully and mindfully.

Notice the difference.  I am not proud because I was perfect.  I’m proud because I made good choices.  I’m proud because I put self-care and self-love first.

What I have found is that when you are looking for perfection, the slightest slip-up usually causes you to reverse course and do the opposite of what you intended to do.  When your goal is moderation and health, your approach is so much different.  Allow yourself to love yourself.  Don’t aim for perfection.  My goal is to love myself and put self-care first – what is yours?

An Ahh-Haa Moment

I got an email from a friend of mine today.  I know this friend from Weight Watchers.  She is just one of many people I know from Weight Watchers who have either reached goal and then gained some or all of their weight back or just never quite reached goal (I also know some people who have lost weight on Weight Watchers and have kept the weight off – Bravo to them).  Even though my friend has belonged to WW for quite some time, she stopped going to meetings a long time ago, but continued to pay, for reasons she wasn’t even sure of.  She recently “retired” from Weight Watchers because she realized that diets just don’t work and that one in particular didn’t work for her.  And she wrote the following in her email to me:

“I feel very liberated, not guilty if I ate a cookie today.  As a result, I didn’t even know there were a few bags of chocolate peanut m&m’s in a tray I keep for snacks.  It’s been sitting there for a few weeks.  When something isn’t forbidden, one doesn’t crave it.  An ahh-haa moment.”  That is such a huge ahh-haa moment.  If you know you can eat anything at any time, without feeling guilt, then why would you need to crave it or feel the need to binge on it.  And she told me that she’s lost 21 pounds just eating mindfully and concentrating on herself rather than on a plan.

When you are on a program that either restricts the type of food you can eat or restricts the amount of food you can eat then there is a natural tendency to feel deprived which often leads to bingeing or overeating.  Most of the “diet” or “lifestyle change” programs out there count on the fact that people will fail.  And that they will keep coming back.  I know so many people who have rejoined Weight Watchers 10 or 15 or 20 or more times.  What does that say?  I know what it says to me – DIETS DON’T WORK!!  As long as all food is considered equal and people learn to be mindful of how they are eating and knowing when they’ve had enough (by their own internal scale, not by the number of calories on the plate), then the weight loss will happen.  You just need to trust yourself.

Getting Back to Reality

Well the surgery was a success.  I have a new hip.  I’m still in pain but it is nothing like the pain I suffered with the arthritis.  And I know that this pain is temporary and will eventually go away.  I didn’t have much of an appetite while I was in the hospital, and ate very little.   And while I’ve gotten some of it back, I still find it hard to eat sometimes.  I’ve been paying really close attention to what my body is looking for and how my body is feeling before I eat something.  Just being in this mindset is setting me up to making the habit changes I plan to be working on over the next three months.  The main habit I intend to incorporate, which is the one that will go the farthest, is listening to my body and eating only when I’m hungry.  And to take that one step farther, when I ask myself if I’m really hungry, I’m going to also ask if I’m really hungry for food or does my body need some other kind of nourishment.

Another thing I am planning to do is a 10 day sugar detox.  I am going to eliminate all of the added sugar to my diet (this does not include the elimination of fruit and complex carbohydrates).  I have done this before and found that when I don’t include added sugars to my diet I have so much more energy and feel so much better.  And that the cravings DO go away.  I haven’t yet picked a day to start the sugar detox, but I will post it.  If there is anybody who would like to do this with me, please let me know and we can support each other in this journey.  If you would like to receive my report on “10 Steps for Dealing with Sugar Addiction” please go to my website and fill in your name and email address in the opt-in box.  Not only will you receive this awesome report, but you will also be subscribing to my monthly newsletter, where I will be providing lots of important information, including recipes and tips.

Well time to go rest now.

Preparing for a Change

I am about to undergo a huge transformation in my life.  For the past year and a half, I’ve been suffering with major pain in my right hip.  I’ve had pain on the lower right side of my body for a number of years, although I was never able to attribute it to anything specific.  The pain has been mostly in my lower back and upper leg.  After seeing many alternative medicine practitioners (massage therapists, MFR therapists, acupuncturists, chiropractors, physical therapists) over the years, I finally decided to see an orthopedist in June of last year.  He took xrays of my hips and told me that I had moderate to severe osteoarthritis in my right hip.  He told me that while I would definitely be a candidate for hip replacement surgery, they preferred to avoid this until I was at least 60 years old (I just turned 54), as the materials they use only are expected to last 15-20 years and they don’t like to have to go in to do it again.  Cortisone only gave me about 20% relief and even that little bit only lasted for a few weeks.  Over the last few months the pain has become debilitating.  I am unable to do most activities, including walking, which is something I love to do.  So in November I decided to schedule the surgery.  I am going in this Tuesday – January 19.  While I am not looking forward to the recovery period I am very much looking forward to being able to walk and move without pain.

Yesterday was my last day at work until early to mid April.  This will be the longest I’ve had off from work, since graduating from college 32 and a half years ago.  The reality of the situation started sinking in last night.

I am also looking at this as almost a rebirth.  I have a picture in my head of me returning to work as a new person.  I kept envisioning the picture of the Evolution of Man, someone who steps from a primate to a fully erect individual walking proudly.  I also see myself as a beautiful butterfly – emerging from the chrysalis after being an ugly caterpillar.  So I found two pictures that represented my vision.

Woody, who was a graphic artist for 27 years took a picture of a butterfly as it came out of the chrysalis and overlaid it with the evolution of man picture that I had in my head.  This is the image that I see for myself.  I am envisioning becoming a whole new person by the time I go back to work.  Didn’t he do a fantastic job on this graphic?  I have it on my desk and I look at it all the time.  It is so  motivating to me.

I’m not usually very good at visualizing but this transformation is so clear to me.  It will include several things – I expect to take off some of the weight I put on over the past year, because I will be able to get back to walking and being active.  I am expecting to be out of bed and walking (with assistance) the day after surgery.  I told the surgeon the other night that I fully intend to be up and walking the halls of the hospital as much as I can to make up for the last six months where I haven’t really been able to walk very much.  I also plan to get back into a regular exercise program – daily with a lot of strength training (starting with my upper body since I will be limited to what I can do with my lower body).  I see myself returning to work as a stronger, healthier person, walking with that swing in my step that I used to have.

Because the next three months will not include the stress I get from my job (which is a major contributor to it), I’m also looking at working very hard on replacing some of my emotional eating habits with habits that better support the life I intend to lead.  While I’ve done a fabulous job replacing some of my old habits (including eating slowly and mindfully, really tasting my food instead of shoveling it in, avoiding sugar and sugar substitutes, drinking only water, herbal or green tea or an occasional organic fruit juice, eating more organic foods), there are still some that need work.  And I feel like having this surgery and having the time off to recuperate is going to give me the opportunity to take advantage of the time and make some major changes in my life.  So I see this as very positive.  Would I prefer not to have to have surgery – of course.  But I do know that I will be pain-free (YEAH!!!!!) and a whole new person by the end of the spring.

I can’t wait to go on my first hike in a couple of years when the weather gets nice.  And walk on the beach in St. John, when we go in June.  And climb Bell Rock when we go to Sedona later in the year.  A whole new me is on the way.  Watch out world.

I Can Eat Anything Without Guilt

When I was learning the Normal Eating program, one of the first things that is taught is that you have to learn to eat without guilt.  Any food.  There is no “bad” food.  So many of us who have struggled with compulsive overeating and binge eating know the cycle – I ate something “bad”, I feel bad about it, that makes me a bad person, so I eat something else “bad” to try to make myself feel better, and so the cycle goes.  And with this, there is usually a tremendous amount of guilt.  And with the guilt there is often a lot of self-loathing (I ate something “bad” so I must be a bad person).

I have spent a lot of time over the past year learning to eat without guilt.  I allow myself to have anything – in moderation.  For example, I very rarely order dessert when I go out to eat.  Most of the time, the desserts are just not worth it, but every once in a while, I will indulge.  And when I do, I order something that I know will be absolutely amazing.  My husband and I went out for an early birthday dinner last night.  And they had a special dessert – Chocolate Creme Brulee, with a hint of Grand Marnier.  I decided that was a dessert that would be amazing and I decided to order it.  Well it was every bit as amazing as I imagined it would be.  I ate it very slowly and savored every bite.  The crunchy burnt sugar topping, the chocolate custard underneath, even the whipped creme with chocolate shavings.  I ate about 1/3 of it (I did have all of the crunchy topping though).  And when I felt I had enough and I was satisfied with what I had, I asked the waitress to remove the plate from in front of me.  I knew that if it sat there, that I would continue to eat it, and probably finish it.  But the way I look at it, the first bite is usually the best.  I don’t need to keep eating it to see if it’s going to get any better.

Another memorable story that is similar to this was when I went on my first (and so far only) cruise in 2001.  I had been divorced for almost 2 years and had gotten to a point where I loved myself enough that I would be happy with my life no matter what – whether I was alone or I met someone else (the story about how I met my husband is another great story that I’ll post at another time).  And while I was on the cruise I ate very mindfully.  I had recently lost quite a lot of weight and was very proud of my accomplishment, and I didn’t want to come home with the typical 10 pound cruise weight gain.  But one night I decided to order the chocolate souffle for dessert, with the thought that I’d only eat a portion of it, no more than half.  I ordered it and since I hadn’t had anything like that in a very long time, I savored every bite.  And not quite half way through, I asked the waitress to take it away.  She asked me if anything was wrong with it.  I told her no – I just didn’t want anymore and if it sat in front of me, I would continue eating it because it was so good.  She again asked if there was something wrong with it.  No one had ever asked her to take a dessert away before and she wanted to make sure I was happy.  She asked if I’d rather have something else.  I said no, I just wanted some of the souffle and didn’t feel the need to finish it.  I felt so proud of myself that day.

And I felt proud of myself last night.  I would like to say that I would have been able to have the creme brulee in front of me, had my few bites and then just let it sit until it was taken away, without feeling that I couldn’t stop myself.  I’m not there yet.  I do need to ask to have the food taken away, or at least moved to a different part of the table, so I am not tempted to continue eating.  But today, when I went out to lunch with some old friends and they surprised me with a piece of flourless chocolate cake with ice cream for my birthday, I had a few bites, and while it was really good, it wasn’t so good that I couldn’t put the spoon down and stop eating.

The point of this whole blog post is that I have learned to eat without the guilt.  There is no such thing as a bad food.  Eating a really amazing dessert does not make me a bad person.  I totally enjoyed the creme brulee and savored it and was totally present while I was eating it.  And I didn’t feel the need to eat anything else the rest of the night.  So go out there and order dessert if there is something that is really different and you know will be truly amazing.  Challenge yourself to eat only a small amount – until you are satisfied.  Savor each bite.  Be present.  And if you are like me, who cannot have the dessert sitting in front of you after you finish it, then feel free to ask to have it taken off the table.  And then congratulate yourself on taking a step to losing the guilt.

Being Present

How many of us eat our meals in front of the television or reading a book or the newspaper or checking email or surfing the web or any one of a million other things you might do while eating?  How often to you pick up a bag of chips or popcorn or a container of ice cream and sit down to watch a movie – before you know it the bag or container is empty and you don’t really remember eating more than a few bites of it.  I know I eat in ways where I am not being present more often than I’d like. Most of the time, lunch is at my desk in the office while reading the paper or checking email and dinner is with my husband in front of the TV.  There have been many times that I finished eating a meal or a snack and I looked at the plate and did not remember the actual act of eating it.  Wait a minute – who ate my food?  When we are not paying attention to what we are eating and paying attention to everything else around us, we end up eating a huge number of calories but we don’t remember even one bite.  And if we cannot remember what we ate, how can that food actually nourish or satisfy us.  If we eat with presence then we can attain both physical and emotional satisfaction from our food.

So you ask, what does this mean.  What do I need to do to be present while I’m eating.  What being present means is to just be in the now.  Having your full attention on what you are doing.  It is being fully aware of everything that is going on RIGHT THEN AND THERE.  Being aware of our feelings, thoughts, the food in front of us and the way it looks on the plate, the way it smells, the way it feels, the way it tastes.  That is what it means to be present.  If you are worrying about the bill that came in the mail earlier today or what’s on TV or your email or getting into an argument with someone tomorrow, then you are not being present.

One thing that I’ve learned about myself is that when I am fully present while eating, the food tastes totally different.  A few weeks ago, someone in my office brought in a nice holiday container of Hershey’s kisses and put it out for everyone to share right by the network printer.  So of course, being the chocoholic that I am, every time I went by the printer I stuck my hand in the basket and took a couple of kisses.  I’d bring them back to my desk, unwrap them and just pop them in my mouth and mindlessly eat them while getting back to my work.  I have to admit I had more than a few Hershey’s kisses that day.  At one point after lunch, I decided that instead of just popping the kiss in my mouth and barely tasting it, I would eat it the way I eat the really good dark chocolate I’ve become accustomed to eating – taking tiny bites, letting it melt in my mouth and really savoring the taste.  I did that with the kiss.  And you know what – I realized that I didn’t really like the taste of it.  It was way too sweet for me.  By eating it with full presence I really tasted it and discovered that I like good dark chocolate a lot better than plain milk chocolate.  And I haven’t had anything with plain milk chocolate since.  I have realized that it is just not worth eating.

Food just tastes different when you are actually tasting it.  I know that sounds funny, but it is really true.  I challenge you to try it.  The next meal or snack that you eat – commit to being totally present with that food.  Eat it slowly, chew it fully, roll it around on your tongue, really taste it and savor that taste.  See what comes of it.  If you are like me, you will understand true satisfaction from your food, maybe even for the first time.  You will realize that you don’t need to eat everything on your plate because you will become satisfied way before the food on your plate is gone.  You may also find that you really don’t like what you are eating, because you are truly tasting it for the first time.

New Year’s Intentions

I want to start off this post by wishing everyone a happy, healthy, safe and prosperous New Year. Another year has come and gone. The first decade of the 21st century has passed. Sometimes it’s hard to believe that time goes so quickly. So we must savor all of those moments because we can never get them back again.

Many people start off the year by making New Year making resolutions. And for so many people, their resolution is to lose weight, go to the gym, get healthier, etc.  I was a member of Weight Watchers for many years.  Those of us who were regulars knew that you had to get their early to get your regular seat for the first meeting of the year, because it was usually going to be standing room only. And then the next week, it was still pretty crowded, but there were definitely fewer people than were there before.  And each week for the next few weeks the crowds would dwindle until we were back to our usual number of people.  It was also the same thing at the gym – even at 5:00am it was hard to get the machine you wanted because there were so many new people there during the first few weeks of the new year.

I think it is great that so many people use this time to commit to a new and healthier lifestyle.  They look at it as a fresh beginning.  So why do so many people abandon their resolutions so quickly?  I think it’s a combination of several things.  First of all, most people don’t set specific goals (“I’m going to lose weight” or “I’m going to get in shape”) or achievable goals (“I’m going to lose 20 pounds in a month” or “I’m going to go to the gym 7 days a week for 2 hours a day).  Goals must be specific, measurable, achievable, reasonable and time-oriented (these SMART guidelines came from iPEC). And while most people make their resolutions, they don’t intend to follow them.

So I’m going to do something different this year.  Instead of declaring my New Year’s resolutions, I am going to set my New Year’s intentions (thanks to Jennifer Barley, my life coach, for this idea).  As Jenn puts it, “an intention is how you want to live – it is about what you intend to do”.  So this year I am going to set my New Year’s intentions.  I’m going to list them on a piece of paper and hang them in a place where I will see them all the time, so I can constantly refer to them and never forget them.  I will spend a few minutes everyday, visualizing the outcomes of these intentions.  By always thinking about them in a positive way, I will be putting those intentions out to the universe.  And I’m going to list them here.  By putting them out in public for all to see I am committing to my readers what I intend to do in 2010 and what I expect my life to be like by the end of 2010.

My Intentions for 2010:

• I eat foods that are closer to their points of origin
• I am mobile and active and move freely
• My weight is where my body wants it to be
• I listen to what my body needs and eat only when I’m truly hungry
• I always eat mindfully and in a dignified manner
• I have a successful health counseling practice with 15 regular clients

So what are your intentions for the New Year.  What would you like your life to be at the start of 2011.